The shitty painter
painted
a shitty painting.
Posted in flash fiction
Tagged art, artist, flash fiction, funny, humor, one sentence story, painting, pictures, shitty art, very short story
Hopefully you’ve been following my work all this time and know all about the flash fiction pieces I type onto vintage photographs. If not, they look like this:
Well now my book is available for preorder! The WONDERFUL publishers over at Wrags, Ink have seen fit to put out a collection of around fifty of their favorites, and now for the first time it’s available for preorder! So please check it out here on my Etsy. You can also order it with a bunch of goodies here for a few more dollars.
Thank you all so much for your continued support!
Posted in flash fiction, Typography
Tagged 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, art, beauty, book, childhood, children, couples, dating, death, dennis finocchiaro, entertainment, fiction, flash fiction, found photograph, kitsch, people, photograph, photography, photos, published, publishing, typography, very short story, vintage, vss, writing
 The robot sat on the metro, speeding quickly to its destination. The train slowed, stopped, hissed. A couple got on, holding hands, and sat across from it.
The robot noticed how close they sat to each other compared to other passengers. They started to kiss as it watched. It tried to comprehend why humans kiss. The action served no useful function that it could see, yet the robot found itself yearning for its own partner to kiss.
It rotated its head to a window and looked at the reflection.
It had no lips.
Artwork by the wonderful and talented Kira Bang-Olsson. Check out her website or click on the artwork for her blog. To read the rest of The Melancholy Robot stories, click here.
Posted in flash fiction, The Melancholy Robot
Tagged art, beauty, couples, dating, dennis finocchiaro, entertainment, fiction, flash fiction, friends, funny, humor, illustration, Kira Bang-Olsson, kissing, kitsch, life, love, marriage, Metro, people, pictures, relationships, robot, robots, romance, sad, The Melancholy Robot, very short story, vss, writing
Xander shifted his pillow a little so his head was more comfortable as he read when Zoey gasped at something on her laptop. He looked over at her.
“What’s up?”
“Peter Falk died. I loved him in Princess Bride.”
“Peter Falk died? Inconceivable.”
“Nice,” she said. “Seriously though, he was amazing in that movie.”
“He was also Columbo. And he was in Vibes with Jeff Goldblum and Cindi Lauper. But yeah, I’ll always remember him as the grandfather. I love that movie.”
“It’s a classic.”
“Hello, my name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
“Stop saying that!”
Xander dropped his book and stabbed her in the shoulder with an invisible sword.
“Promise me money! Promise me wealth!” he yelled as he jumped up and down on the bed pretending to stab her as she pretended to die.
He dropped down and flopped back onto his side of the bed.
“Remember when we had those ROUSs in the old apartment?” she asked.
“Rodents of unusual size? I don’t think they exist.” He paused to catch his breath a little. “And of course I remember those rats. Not as big as in the movie, but scary nonetheless.”
She read a bit of the bio and sighed.
He knew he had to cheer her up. “Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?”
She smiled. “If there are we’ll all be dead!”
“Stop that rhyming now, I mean it!”
“Anybody want a peanut?”
“I love that part when Peter Falk says something about television being called books in his day. Classic. And when he skips the final kiss? Priceless.”
“I just loved his role. I didn’t grow up with a grandfather…but when I was a kid I liked to pretend mine was just like him.”
He looked over at her and smiled. “Love you, Zo.” Then he started tickling her until she couldn’t breathe.
Once she could speak again she playfully frowned at him. “Okay, okay, you’re bothering me. Go to bed. I’ll likely kill you in the morning.”
He kissed her goodnight. “As you wish.”
Posted in flash fiction, Zoey and Xander
Tagged As you wish, beauty, childhood, Cindi Lauper, Columbo, couples, dating, dennis finocchiaro, entertainment, family, Fezzik, fiction, flash fiction, friends, funny, hipster, humor, inconceivable, Indigo Montoya, Jeff Goldblum, kitsch, life, love, people, Peter Falk, pictures, relationships, romance, sad, The Princess Bride, very short story, Vibes, vss, writing, you killed my father prepare to die
“Nooooo!” he screamed, at the top of his lungs, towards the heavens.
“Stop being so dramatic,” she said. “I’ll be back in a few days.”
Posted in flash fiction, Zoey and Xander
Tagged couples, dating, dennis finocchiaro, dependence, entertainment, fiction, flash fiction, funny, holiday, humor, kitsch, life, love, overdependent, relationships, romance, vacation, very short story, vss, writing