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Tag Archives: humor
Asking Permission
Available on my ETSY.
Posted in flash fiction, photos of strangers, Typography
Tagged 1940s, 1950s, art, beauty, childhood, children, couples, dating, dating in the 50s, entertainment, family, fiction, flash fiction, found art, found photograph, gaining approval, humor, kitsch, life, love, marriage, parental approval, people, photo, photograph, photography, photos, pictures, relationships, retro, romance, typewriter, typography, vintage, writing
Heart-shaped Leaf
ⓒLynn Wiles Photography. Click on the image for her photography blog.
Her soft hand was in mine, MINE! My hand, covered in black ink from my long day of work. I still couldn’t get over that she was my girlfriend. She must have been reading my mind because she lifted my hand and inspected it.
“Look at all that ink. Don’t you ever wash your hands at work?”
I probably blushed a bit, but guys don’t blush so I won’t admit it.
“I can’t take the time to wash my hands every time ink splatters on them! The book would never get done.”
“I know hun, I’m just teasing you. I love your work.”
She pulled me to the right and into Central Park.
“Let’s walk through the park. It’s Fall…the leaves look beautiful.”
I let her pull me in the direction of the picturesque foliage.
“It’s almost like the trees are on fire! Look at that one!” she said as she tugged me yet again as if my arm were a leash.
“Oh my God! Look at that!” she gasped and pointed at a tiny leaf that looked oddly like a heart. “Do you have your camera?”
“Nope, but I have something better!” I said as I pulled a mini sketchpad and Sharpie from my pocket. Her smile forced me into a smile as well as she sat on a nearby bench, crossed her legs and pulled the end of her plaid dress over her knees. I watched for another moment as she started pulling on the curls of her long brown hair. She caught me looking and smiled.
“Get drawing, Picasso.”
“Picasso wouldn’t – never mind,” I responded. She crinkled her nose and I got to work drawing the leaf. It turned out pretty good, I thought. She ran over after I put the cap back on the Sharpie.
“Can I see?”
“Nope.”
“Why?”
I grinned. “You can see it on our anniversary.”
“But that’s a few months away!”
“Guess you’ll have to stick around awhile then, huh,” I said with a smirk.
Special thanks to Lynn Wiles for allowing me to use her photograph.
Posted in flash fiction
Tagged art, artist, beauty, Central Park, comics, couples, dating, entertainment, Fall, fiction, flash fiction, foliage, found photograph, heart, hipster, humor, ink, kitsch, leaves changing, life, love, marriage, New York, people, photo, photograph, photography, photos, pictures, relationships, writing
A Paradox and a Balloon
Sometimes it was difficult for me to remember Susie was twelve, especially when I noticed her scrunching her nose; this was always a sign she was deep in thought.
She looked up at the orange balloon tied to her wrist and after much deliberation pulled the loose end of the string. The newly-released balloon floated up and momentarily became stuck in a branch until a gentle breeze freed it from a leafy prison and it continued on a heavenly journey.
“What goes up must come down,” she whispered. I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or thinking out loud.
“What hun?” I asked. I could see a hypothesis forming in her mind; I blame her scientist mother for moments like these. Well, maybe blame isn’t the right word since I adore our after-school hangouts in the park. Sometimes being a writer has its perks.
“I was just thinking about something Miss Rivers said in class today. We were doing a lab with eggs and she said that everything that goes up comes down. Do you know the saying?”
I nodded.
“Well, what about my balloon? It went up and won’t come down.” We both looked skyward at the small orange dot that was once leashed to her small wrist.
“Well, the balloon is going up now, but it won’t necessarily continue to go up, right? What happens to a balloon when you bring it home?”
She shifted her weight on the bench. “It floats for a day or two and then starts to shrivel, like a raisin. As the helium wears out it stops floating. So you’re right, the balloon will eventually come down. I guess Miss Rivers knows what she’s talking about.”
She looked at her chucks. “The statement doesn’t provide any kind of specific timeline. I thought of our eggs going up and coming down immediately after she said it, because it was directly in front of me when she made the comment. But I guess it doesn’t specify when objects come down. Maybe the saying should be ‘What goes up eventually comes down,’ hmm?” She sat staring at the balloon until she could no longer see it.
She reached out a small hand, her signal that she was ready to start the walk home. I got up and took her hand as we began the walk home. Her nose was scrunched again.
“Airplanes land, or they’d run out of fuel and crash.” I nodded to her. “What about satellites? Or other things we launch into orbit?”
I had no answer to that, and a simple “Ask your mother,” seemed inappropriate. “I’m not sure,” is all I came up with.
“It would seem I found a paradox,” she said, and I nodded. Again, I can’t believe she’s twelve. At that, the man who originally gave her the balloon appeared again.
“Did you lose your balloon? I probably didn’t tie it tight enough. Would you like another?”
Her eyes opened wide and innocent as she looked up at the bunch and chose a color.
“Red, please,” she said with a colossal smile.
*Inspired by the word Paradox shared by Ashley Smolnik
Posted in flash fiction, Inspired by a word...
Tagged balloon, beauty, childhood, children, entertainment, fiction, flash fiction, humor, kids, life, love, marriage, paradox, people, relationships, smart kid, writing
The Rogue Child
Photograph by Christina Molholm, whose blog can be found here.
As she went through her wallet checking on funds she absentmindedly went for a basket and out of the corner of her eye realized something was wrong; there was a small child sitting in the top one. After a moment of thought and a quick look around for a nearby frantic parent she grabbed the last basket from the other stack and turned to walk away. After a few feet she stopped and looked back at the child, who gave her such a melancholy stare that she couldn’t just leave him there.
“Is anyone looking for a rogue child?” she said to her surroundings. Nobody surfaced with a look of calming insanity so she said it again, louder. “Did anyone lose a kid?” He rested his head on the side of the blue basket and sighed. She walked over to the manager’s desk and reported the little boy as missing, and went about her shopping, proud of her triumph, as she heard the loudspeaker say, “Would the owner of the rogue child sitting in the pile of baskets please report to the manager.”
Posted in flash fiction
Tagged art, beauty, childhood, children, entertainment, family, fiction, flash fiction, food shopping, humor, life, lost children, love, market, people, photo, photograph, photography, photos, pictures, supermarkets, writing
Imagine
“That was an amazing exhibit.”
“Oh trust me, I remember,” he said as he changed his Facebook status to one 
simple word, Imagine.
“Found it!” she said as she pulled the record Double Fantasy out of his collection and brought it to the turntable.
“Good job. Remember the wish trees?”
They were thinking back to an art exhibit they’d seen in Montreal that was a tribute to John and Yoko.
“I loved them. What was your wish again?”
He looked away from her.
“It’s fine, you don’t have to admit it. But I know it was me.”
“Yeah yeah,” he tried to dismiss that part of the conversation.
“We actually were IN the bed of the famous sleep in.”
“I know, it was impressive. I think my favorite was how interactive the exhibit was. How they invited everyone to take part, like how we could hammer a nail to the wall.”
“And all those stamps that said imagine peace in multiple languages?”
“You just had to find the French one, then we stamped your hand with it and took photographs of your hand all over Montreal.”
She sat on the couch next to him and snuggled up. “They were airing all of her home movies of the two of them.”
“The whole wall of War is Over signs was pretty neat too.”
“Agreed. I wish we could go back and do it again.”
“Well, we could totally go to Montreal. But the exhibit is long gone.”
“I know.”
The record continued to play in the background and she looked at him.
“This is a perfect way to spend his birthday, listening to his records with someone I love.”
“Agreed,” he said as he put his arm around her.
Posted in flash fiction
Tagged art, Beatles, beauty, couples, dating, Double Fantasy, entertainment, fiction, flash fiction, friends, friendship, hipster, humor, Imagine, John Lennon, John Lennon's Birthday, kitsch, life, love, montreal, Musée des Beaux Arts, music, people, photo, photograph, photography, photos, pictures, records, relationships, retro, romance, tribute to John Lennon, vintage, vinyl, writing, yoko ono
A Future Star
This original print, along with many others, is now for sale on my Etsy.
Posted in flash fiction, photos of strangers, Typography
Tagged 1940s, art, beauty, broom, childhood, children, dance, dancer, dancing, entertainment, family, fiction, flash fiction, found art, found photograph, friends, friendship, humor, kitsch, life, photo, photograph, photography, photos, pictures, typewriter, typography, vintage, writing
The Gorilla Habitat
“The kids would have loved these guys,” she said to her husband, drawing his attention to the two gorillas sunning in their habitat. He walked up and snapped a shot with his Ansco Color Clipper.
“So would your father!” he added.
She gave him a nasty look. “That’s not funny.”
“What?”
“Comparing mother to a gorilla. It’s not funny.” She frowned but he smiled.
“I wasn’t, I just thought he’d enjoy them,” he replied with a sinister smile.
“Mother is not a gorilla.”
“Of course not, dear,” he said, pulling her toward him and holding her.
She pouted a bit and stepped out of his embrace.
“It says here,” he read to her from the placard in a lame attempt to change the subject, “Gorillas are the largest and most powerful of the manlike apes.”
“Are you going to say something about my mother’s size and power?”
“Of course not, dear. I adore your mother.” She crossed her arms and continued to look away from him and in the direction of the animals. He pulled out a list.
“So, do we continue from here to the campgrounds like your folks did? I know you want to keep with their itinerary. Says we go from here to camping near Disney World. I packed the tent…”
He walked up behind her and put his arms under hers, squeezing a bit until she giggled. He took that as a sign of forgiveness.
“Sure. First let’s stop by the souvenir shop. I want to find a post card to send the kids.”
“Deal. Lead the way, beautiful,” he said as he offered his arm.
Posted in flash fiction
Tagged 1960s, beauty, camping, childhood, children, couples, Disney World, entertainment, family, fiction, fight, flash fiction, found art, found postcard, gorilla, humor, kids, kitsch, life, love, marriage, mother in laws, people, photo, photograph, photography, photos, pictures, postcard, relationships, romance, vintage, vintage postcard, Walt Disney World, writing, zoo
A Bad Monday
Available with many other prints on my Etsy here.
Posted in flash fiction, photos of strangers, Typography
Tagged art, beauty, childhood, children, couples, entertainment, family, fiction, flash fiction, found art, found photograph, humor, kitsch, life, love, marriage, people, photo, photograph, photography, photos, pictures, relationships, typewriter, typography, vintage, writing
We’ll Lead You Astray…
Photo taken by me in Kung Fu Necktie, Philadelphia.
“We’ll lead you astray,” she said.
He picked up his beer and turned to face her. “Oh really?”
She laughed a bit.
“Hi, I’m Rob.” He reached out his hand.
“Sally,” she said with a smile.
“So, go ahead. Lead and I’ll follow.”
She turned to her friend next to her and whispered something, and she whispered back. He started to lose his confidence. But she was the one who spoke first. She removed her cardigan and started rolling the plaid sleeves of her shirt. He noticed the tip of some cleavage peeking out of the tank she wore underneath. The band started playing which should have ended the conversation, but he persisted.
“So what do you do?”
“I’m a teacher!”
“Teacher by day, hipster by night?”
“I’m not a hipster,” she frowned.
He laughed. “I was kidding.”
He paused, making it awkward.
“Are you here to see Those Darlins, or one of the openers?”
“Darlins!” she yelled. She turned to her friend again.
“I love them, aren’t they great!”
“Yeah!” she yelled back. “Love them…saw them in Jersey a few weeks ago.”
“Nice!” he said with a smile.
The band was especially loud as she yelled something to him and he could not hear.
“Huh?”
She yelled it again and he still couldn’t hear her.
“Reading what?” he yelled to her.
She pointed at something over his shoulder, and he turned to see a lit up sign that said “We’ll Lead You Astray”.
Posted in flash fiction
Tagged band, bar, comedy, concert, couples, dating, embarrassment, entertainment, fiction, flash fiction, friends, friendship, hipster, hipsters, hitting on a girl, humor, Kung Fu Necktie, life, live music, love, marriage, music, photo, photograph, photography, photos, pictures, relationships, romance, Those Darlins, writing
Someone Else’s Birthday
“Morning Den. Guess what I got!” the receptionist asked him upon seeing him enter the office.
“Tell me!” he said with a small note of excitement in his voice.
“I bought my boyfriend’s birthday present! Tickets to the Flyers!”
“That’s nice.” He started to walk away.
“Hey, what’s up? Isn’t that exciting?”
He turned and gave her a look. “Sure, sure it is.” He attempted to leave again.
“Hey!” He stopped again. “What’s up?”
“Nothing, except you’re a jerk.”
Her jaw dropped and he walked out of the room.
One of the managers came in the front door and nodded to her as she passed reception. The manager suddenly stopped and turned to her.
“By the way, don’t forget, Den’s birthday is today and we’re doing the party at lunch.”
Based on a true story that happened to me today. I changed a few facts to keep people from harassing the guilty party 🙂
Posted in Flash Nonfiction
Tagged birthday, comedy, entertainment, forgetting a birthday, friends, friendship, humor, life, people, relationships, sad, work, writing
A Flash of Inspiration 