Zippers, Buttons and Other Clothing Containment Devices

She slammed into her seat across from me with a look of horror on her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  Something.  I made the whole trek to work, my hallway, the courtyard where I saw my neighbor I have a crush on, the walk to the subway, the subway – which was really crowded this morning by the way, the four blocks to our building and then our lobby – all with my zipper down.”

I laughed out loud – I couldn’t help it.  A look of pain crossed her face.

“It’s not that big a deal.  You wear underwear, you know.  And nobody notices that kind of thing anymore.”

“An old man did.”

I laughed again but this time tried to hide it with a quick cover up with my hand.

“Leave it to a senior citizen.  They’re always vigilant when it comes to buttons, zippers and other clothing containment devices.”

She looked unamused so I wiped the smile off my face.

“It’s these stupid jeans.  The zipper never stays up.”

“Then why wear them?”

“Have you seen my ass in them?”

I started to laugh, but then thought better of it and nodded.  She really did look good in those jeans.  She got up.

“Okay, I better go to work now.  Humiliation aside, I have work to do.”

As she went to leave I cleared my throat and she turned.

“Um…your zipper is down again.”