I plopped on the orange couch, shocked that I had experienced heartbreak in Ikea, of all places. It started with a conversation about possible plates for our apartment and escalated into something much bigger. We couldn’t decide on a sofa, either. Or an ottoman. In the years we’d spent together it was always like this; we couldn’t agree on anything. A movie. A television show. Which park to hike in. I guess I should have seen it coming.
She exploded. She’d had enough. I wanted the white plate with the gray circle. She wanted the white one with the orange line. And now I find myself on an orange couch with no ride home to an apartment that was ours, but will probably just end up hers.
I couldn’t help but wonder if this were the first Ikea breakup over color choices or if this was a common occurrence. It probably happens a lot, considering the strong colors they tend to prefer. Maybe they come onto a loudspeaker and say something like “We have heartbreak over color choices in the Living Room section,” and someone brings the broken person a complimentary plate of Swedish Meatballs.
An Ikea worker in his blue and yellow outfit approaches me, but his hands are meatball-less and he continues right by and into the shortcut to the children’s section.
Photograph by the talented Kate Hiscock. Click the image for her Flickr.
Posted in flash fiction
Tagged breakups, color, couples, dating, dennis finocchiaro, emo, entertainment, fiction, flash fiction, funny, heartbreak, hipster, humor, Ikea, Ikea furniture, kate hiscock, kitsch, life, love, people, photo, photograph, photography, photos, relationships, sad, sarcasm, satire
The Melancholy Robot is a collection of flash fiction stories about a robot who wishes he were human. It focuses on its daily life and small experiences. I’ve asked different artists to do renditions of the stories; a different artist creates art every day inspired by the story. It’s been a fun experiment so far, I hope you enjoy!
The robot stood in the park watching a dog defecate on the grass. A little girl approached the metallic man.
“Hi.” It looked down into her impossibly blue eyes. “What’s your name?”
The robot turned its attention back to the dog.
“I have no name.”
“Everybody has a name.”
“That’s sad.” The little girl skipped away and the robot watched as she stepped in the fresh shit.
Artwork by the lovely and talented Kate Hiscock. Click the image for her blog or click here.
If you enjoyed this, check out the other robot stories featuring different artists here and here. And please, like my Facebook page.
Posted in flash fiction, The Melancholy Robot
Tagged art, beauty, child, childhood, children, dennis finocchiaro, dogs, dogs shit, entertainment, fiction, flash fiction, friends, friendship, funny, girl, humor, kate hiscock, kid, life, names, people, poop jokes, relationships, robot, sad, slightly me, stepping in dog poop, the importance of a name, The Melancholy Robot, writing