The Big Blue Toe

The big blue toe peered up at her from his flip flop.

“So what did you do to it?”

“I don’t know,” he said to her. “But it’s throbbing right now.”

“Maybe you kicked the leg of the bed again. You tend to do that when you make the bed. Did you make the bed?”

“Psh, I haven’t washed my sheets in weeks.”

“Gross,” she said, wrinkling her nose. He laughed in response. “So what DID you do yesterday?”

He looked away. “Nothing of consequence.”

“I know when you’re hiding something. Worst liar ever. You went out with her again, didn’t you.”

“Nope.”

“Yes you did. You know, most people think it’s rude to go out with your ex when you’re with a new girl.”

“I didn’t go out with her. You’re crazy.”

“Look at me when you say that then.”

He exaggerated looking at her, widening his eyes. “I didn’t go out with her.”

“Okay you’re not lying. But let’s see…did she come here? Technically that’s not going out.”

He didn’t answer.

“And if that’s the case, you’d be in bigger trouble than you would be after going out for something like coffee or a drink.” She got up and went to his bedroom, returning in a minute or so.

“Anything else to say?” Now she looked pissed, and her emotion was reflected in her voice.

“Nope.”

“I just Sherlock Holmed your ass. Your sheets smell like dryer sheet. So my only assumption can be you lied about washing the sheets, you had her over, had sex, and your dumb ass figured you’d better wash the sheets so I wouldn’t find out. Then you smacked your toe on the leg of the bed, like you always do, and got caught. Ass.”

She slammed the door on her way out.

Words given to me by Christina.

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14 responses to “The Big Blue Toe

  1. That made me mad. Memories of a disgusting ex. Caught him like she did. But instead of a bruised toe, I just did a sort of reverse psychology. And like that, his dirty laundry flowed out of his mouth like silk. Then his eyes widened and he acted as if he couldn’t believe that he just let me know his huge secret. Ha. Silly boys.

  2. Well that’s life, right. We all have shitty ex’s. I think. That’s how you learn. And especially how you learn to appreciate… when someone good finally comes along.

  3. lol she sherlock homed him pretty bad! LOVED IT !
    i found it kinda hillarious !
    A person has doubts will always look beyond the person so called his gf
    hey dennis i wrote a short story and wanted your opinion abt it, now that your an expert in them ^^

  4. Been lurking here a while, enjoying your creativity. =) Really great writing, Dennis! The story took an unexpected turn, which I liked a lot. And there’s some good knowledge of the human creature in there, methinks.

  5. This would make an *awesome* stage short!

  6. Ah! I loved this, Den. Sorry I’ve been a bit AWAL – but hey, you haven’t been visiting either :P.

    I loved the Sherlock Holming of the ass here. Very cool.

  7. Interesting.

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