Anhedonia

“Sometimes I swear you’re so negative you might be anhedonic.”

“What?” he asked me with a sullen look on his face.

“You can’t even be happy over the little things, simple everyday items. Like – what’s your favorite food?”

“You know it’s pizza. Come on.”

“What did we have for dinner?”

He sighed and looked away.

“Well? We had pizza. From your favorite place. Where the sauce is on top of the cheese. Did you say anything positive while we ate? Afterwards? Anything?”

He continued to look away.

“I swear I can’t take much more of this. I’m not even sure you enjoy having sex with me. When was the last time you put the moves on me? Do you even know?”

“Sure, it was last week. After your cousin’s birthday party.”

“That was two months ago. Two. Not a week.”

He looked out the window at a car passing by. He turned his attention back to me.

“What did you call me earlier?”

“Anhedonic.”

He opened his laptop and started typing.

“Are you Googling it?”

“No. Yeah.”

I smiled a little despite myself. “Well I can save you time. It basically means you don’t have the ability to experience pleasure in the normal, everyday things human beings enjoy. It’s a sad way to go through life. You weren’t always like this.”

He closed the computer and looked me in the eye for the first time in a while.

“Maybe I was faking it when we met. Maybe I have always been like this. What do you know? I could be the world’s best actor.”

“Could be, I guess.” I looked away, out the window at a couple walking by and holding hands. “I think I want out. I can’t date someone like this. You sit around, you do nothing but wait for me, and you don’t attempt to make yourself happy. I try all the time. I surprise you with pizza, I force you to go for walks – even when our friends come over to play games you’re miserable and barely speak.”

He frowned again, got up from his seat, and went to the fridge. He opened it, looked around inside, and stood there with the door open.

“What were you looking for?”

“I dunno. Nothing.”

“Hungry?”

“Nah.”

“Thirsty?”

“Nah.”

I tapped my fingers on the table as he shut the door and returned to his seat.

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One response to “Anhedonia

  1. Brilliant writing,
    I like it a lot! ^^

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